十六歲，笨拙，怕醜
半杯水，大家就講得多；半個人，其實亦係一樣成日講。「找生命的另一半」不知從何處源起，其實諗返轉頭，好羅命。結婚就是找另一半，然後你才是一個人，才是「完整」。倒是在想，離婚又點計？結過幾次婚的，又怎麼計？香港人還是在一個很感情用事的氣氛裏頭，將很多事情都變得很神聖很浪漫——當然，我不否定這世界很多東西都是很神聖亦很浪漫，但是，過份浪漫只會令很多事變得不設實際，亦變得自我澎漲得令人噁心，做什麼都好像為著全世界而做，唱歌如是寫文字如是，在香港，光環真是處處有。
像林夕為梁漢文寫的《半邊生命》，就是一貫林夕填寫的那種完美美麗的浪漫結合，有趣地呢首歌搵左楊千嬅來做旁白，成件事就好配合，因為近年楊千嬅的歌完全都係呢種意識形態。像楊千嬅那首A MUSIC黑歴史年代的《原來過得很快樂》，亦是在寫這種廢話，是《再見二丁目》甚至是楊千嬅一直音樂persona的一個極具腐蝕性的徹底失敗延續——講到尾，原來一個人總是要靠另一個人來證明她或他的存在價值，很婦嬬好婆媽；同時亦製造那種找唔到「另一半」就係失敗者，唔夠有「另一半」的完整完美，hey, come on。呢個世界乜都係比賽，夠了吧？這亦令我諗起Bridget Jones’s Diary 她被同枱朋友取笑的一幕，「結了婚的人」就直接在整個意識形態裏頭成為勝利者，自以為自己已經抵岸，可以站在高處望遍還在沼澤掙扎的那些「半個人」。
這種主流主導的價值不是香港獨有，但是在香港主流社會卻是只有一種聲音，一種可能。當然，這讓我想起The Smiths 的歌曲Half a Person。同樣寫「半個人」，Morrissey就寫出了另一個故事，另一個人生觀。
十六歲，笨拙，怕醜，就是我的人生故事。六年人生，換來是五秒的乞求；苦苦追求，只不過想做你的狗。
Half a Person
Call me morbid, call me pale
I’ve spent six years on your trail
Six long years
On your trail
Call me morbid, call me pale
I’ve spent six years on your trail
Six full years of my life on your trail
And if you have five seconds to spare
Then I’ll tell you the story of my life :
Sixteen, clumsy and shy
I went to London and I
I booked myself in at the why…W.C.A.
I said : “I like it here – can I stay ?
I like it here – can I stay ?
Do you have a vacancy
For a back-scrubber?”
She was left behind, and sour
And she wrote to me, equally dour
She said : “In the days when you were
Hopelessly poor
I just liked you more…”
And if you have five seconds to spare
Then I’ll tell you the story of my life :
Sixteen, clumsy and shy
I went to London and I
I booked myself in at the why…W.C.A.
I said : “I like it here – can I stay ?
I like it here – can I stay ?
And do you have a vacancy
For a back-scrubber ?”
Call me morbid, call me pale
I’ve spent too long on your trail
Far too long
Chasing your tail
Oh…
And if you have five seconds to spare
Then I’ll tell you the story of my life :
Sixteen, clumsy and shy
That’s the story of my life
Sixteen, clumsy and shy
The story of my life
That’s the story of my life
That’s the story of my life
That’s the story of my life
The story of my life
That’s the story of my life
That’s the story of my life
That’s the story of my life
That’s the story of my life
That’s the story of my life
That’s the story…
同場加演，笑一下。